the secret hunters

I'm always kind of tempted to put a Monty Python-like "Not dead yet!" note on here when we update. (So there it is.) For future reference, if we're actually dead, we'll be sure to let you know. :D

Title: The Secret Hunters (2/?)

Authors: 1eyedjack

Rating: PG-13 this chapter (eventually NC-17)

Word Count: 6,114

DISCLAIMER: Characters and other familiar-sounding things belong to J.K. Rowling and her publishers. Canon information comes from the Lexicon.

Summary: Draco spends some quality time in darkness, Hermione puts her breaking-and-entering skills to good use and Ron is emotionally scarred.

Authors' Notes: In the interests of actually posting sometime this decade, this hasn't been beta-read, so if you catch any mistakes, please tell us. TSH picks up right after HBP, and will eventually be H/D. Previous chapters can be found here.

( TSH 2: The Lockbox )

The Secret Hunters is a post-HBP hunt for the Horcruxes fic with eventual H/D. You know the drill. Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!

Title: The Secret Hunters (1/?)

Author: 1eyedjack

Rating: PG this chapter, eventually NC-17

Word Count: 3,193

DISCLAIMER: Characters and other familiar-sounding things belong to JKR. Canon information comes from the Lexicon.

Summary: Draco gets a birthday surprise, the Dursleys get an unpleasant surprise and Hermione makes a surprising discovery.

Author’s Note: Picks up immediately after HBP. Thanks to perniciousness and miaruma for betaing.

( TSH 1: The Visit )

*blows dust off LJ* Hey there, everyone. Contrary to all evidence, we actually are still alive and kicking. We were going to wait till we had written new fic before posting again, so as not to lead you on anymore, and we actually have!

It's just not Indiscretion.*

It's a post-HBP, seventh year-fic starring the usual suspects and the expected pairings -- canon pairings, mind you -- plus eventual H/D. And we're trying this crazy, unprecedented thing where we write the fic as we go -- rather than having it two chapters shy of finished before starting to post, like we did with Diagon Burning -- but if July 21st isn't a hard deadline, I don't know what is.

Which brings me to the request: Is anyone interested in betaing the first chapter? It's about 3,000 words long. The fic itself will eventually get up to an R or NC-17 rating, but this chapter's PG. If there aren't any takers, we'll go ahead and post the fic within the next couple of days and just label it as being unbetaed -- but if someone does want to look it over, that'd be cool.

*And no, we haven't forgotten about Indiscretion. It's just very back-burnered -- we figured we'd write where there are plotbunnies, and Indiscretion just isn't bunnying at the moment.

For more details, see the entry below this one.

( Waiver for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (text-only) )

Title: Waiver for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Authors: 1eyedjack
Rating: PG
Authors' Notes: Created for omniocular's Non-Fiction Fest, Prompt 135: The form that faculty, staff, and parents of Hogwarts students must sign that relieves Hogwarts of any liability from magical and non magical accidents. (detailing all the known risks!). We interpreted this as just the "parents of Hogwarts students" version, as penknife's fabulous Contract of Employment (and associated correspondence) takes care of faculty.
WARNING FOR DIAL-UP USERS: Contains two image files, both of them rather large. For the text-only version, click here.

( Waiver for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry )

Hey everybody,

We're so sorry we deleted our LJ without warning like that. It had nothing to do with whether we're planning to keep writing or not; it was entirely real life-related, and shouldn't happen again. We know that this is the main place we archive our fic (although DB is also posted at Schnoogle in its entirety, it's more of a hassle to edit chapters there, so the most recent version of many chapters isn't on there yet) and we're sorry for the frustration not being able to access our fic caused any of you guys.

We apologize, and it really, really shouldn't happen again.

Hello, all, and Merry Christmas Eve! We are, in fact, still alive and around, although we’ve done a pretty poor job of showing it lately. When we said we were working on Indiscretion over the summer, well, um, we kind of lied. We had a plot and a plan worked out as early as last June, but we had a long talk about it recently and realized that it’s not going to work: we were trying to force characters in directions they just didn’t want to go.

In light of this, we’re going to be making some significant changes to the plot of Indiscretion, not the least of which is that it’s no longer going to be Harry/Hermione. We’ve made some revisions to Chapter 17 and the first part of Chapter 20 of Diagon Burning to reflect this. We know we spent a long time defending our use of the pairing in Diagon Burning and our plan to use it in Indiscretion, but we realized that if it were working the way we wanted it to, we wouldn’t have to defend it. So for those of you who were in this for the H/Hr, we’re sorry, but we think Diagon Burning and Indiscretion will be better fics without it. As for Harry and Draco...well, you didn’t really think we could leave them the way we did at the end of Diagon Burning, did you?

At any rate, we’re actually really working on Indiscretion now, and we think it will be much better for the (admittedly significant) delay. Expect more news within the next few weeks, but for now, we come bearing cookies:

( On the night his father died, Draco Malfoy received a package. Part of Indiscretion, but set in the middle of DB 18. )

( Harry was more confused than anything when Snape hustled them out of the airport, scolded them into a taxi, led them around the back of a moldering old palace, tapped open a Muggle ventilation shaft with his wand and then crawled into it. Takes place immediately after the end of DB. )

If you're interested, the project for which we wrote The Consequences of Repairing a Shower is now live and can be found here:

We're sorry that we suck enormously and haven't given you guys any chaptered fic in way too long, but here's a fic we wrote for a community project and received permission to post here. (We'll link to the comm itself as soon as it goes live.) We'll try to get moving on Indiscretion, but in the meantime:

Title: The Consequences of Repairing a Shower

Authors: 1eyedjack

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 4,100

Disclaimer: So not ours.

Authors' Notes: We started writing this pre-HBP, so it's not compatible. It's also not consistent with DB canon, although it is H/D.

Summary: Draco discovers a secret, Harry plays repairman, and Ron doesn't get any. Ever.

( The Consequences of Repairing a Shower )

We’re sure you guys have lots of other things on your mind right now (HBP release, anyone?) but if you’ve got a few minutes:

We’ve gotten so much positive feedback for Diagon Burning, which is lovely, but it’s left us wondering what you guys didn’t like about it. There are a number of things we know we have to go back and fix in the fic, Britpicking errors and otherwise that we’ve recently caught, and since we’re planning on doing some editing anyway, we figured we’d ask you guys for your input.

So tell us: Was there anything you disliked about DB? Anything you hated? Anything you wished we’d handled differently? We want to know what we did badly, so please don’t worry about hurting our feelings. If you’ve got suggestions for how we could fix things we did poorly, we’d love to hear them, but if you just want to say “I hate Pansy’s characterization,” that’s perfectly fine too.

We can’t promise to change the fic to fit every single suggestion, but we will promise to take a careful look at what you guys say, especially if we completely disagree with it.

Thanks in advance!

If you haven't read Part One yet, click here.

( DB 20: Diagon Burning, Part Two )

Title: Diagon Burning (20/20)

Author: 1eyedjack

Rating: R

DISCLAIMER: Not ours. Characters and other familiar-sounding things belong to JKR. Canon information, as always, comes from the Lexicon. Additional notes after the chapter.

Summary: One taxi, two trips, three aliases, four cocktails, and an infinite number of burning things.

or...
All but one of the following people appear in this chapter: Harry, Draco, Hermione, Pansy, Lupin, Kingsley, Narcissa, Snape, Dumbledore, Voldemort, the Muggle police, and a perky flight attendant.

Authors' Notes: Thanks to everyone that read and to alazysod for betaing.

Edited as of 12/23/05

( DB 20: Diagon Burning, Part One )

It's looking like tomorrow (Sunday) is the earliest we're going to be able to get Chapter 20 out, as one of us is out of town for the entire day today. We're hoping to get it done sometime either Sunday or Monday, but we aren't sure exactly when. We'll give you a more definite time frame as soon as we can.

Again, thanks for your interest!

Hey guys,

We just wanted to let you know that we really are working on Chapter 20, we swear, but it's not quite ready yet. We wanted to do this chapter well, it being the last one, and it's taking us a bit longer to do that than we'd thought. It should be ready sometime in the next few days; we aren't sure exactly when, but we'll keep you updated as to its progess.

Again, sorry about this, and thanks so much for reading!

Title: Diagon Burning (19/20)

Author: 1eyedjack

Rating: R

DISCLAIMER: JKR owns all characters, places, etc. that sound familiar. Canon information comes from the Lexicon.

Summary: Fudge takes up an interesting hobby, Draco stages a break-in, Harry doesn’t stage a break-out, and everybody’s middle name is revealed.

Authors' Notes: alazysod rocks. Thanks to everyone who's commented and/or caught our mistakes.

We apologize in advance for the inordinate number of Prophet articles in this chapter. If your eyes start to hurt from the italics, take a break and then, you know, come back. And comment.

( DB 19: The Revenge of Cornelius Fudge )

Title: Diagon Burning (18/20)

Author: 1eyedjack

Rating: R

Summary: A death, an escape, a bit of Transfiguration, and an unusual use for the Astronomy Tower.

DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to JKR and her publishers. Canon information comes from the Lexicon.

Authors' Notes: Huge thanks to alazysod and to everyone else who has betaed and/or caught errors for us. If there's anything we missed, canon accuracy or otherwise, please comment and let us know. Thanks for reading!

( DB 18: The Naked Truth )

Title: Diagon Burning (17/20)

Author: 1eyedjack

Rating: R

Summary: One textbook, one lost ski mask, and twenty-four people taken hostage.

DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to JKR and her publishers. Canon information comes from the Lexicon.

Authors' Notes: Huge thanks to alazysod and to everyone else who has betaed and/or caught errors for us. If there's anything we missed, canon accuracy or otherwise, please comment and let us know. Thanks for reading!

Edited as of 12/23/05

( DB 17: Wizard’s Chess )

Title: Diagon Burning (16/20)

Author: 1eyedjack

Rating: R

Summary: Lucius kisses Dumbledore, Harry kisses Draco, and there is a food fight, an inauguration, and two blowjobs, although not necessarily in that order.

DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to JKR and her publishers. Canon information comes from the Lexicon.

Authors' Notes: Huge thanks to alazysod and to everyone else who has betaed and/or caught errors for us. If there's anything we missed, canon accuracy or otherwise, please comment and let us know. Sorry about the delay this week; thanks for your patience and for reading!

( DB 16: Minister Malfoy, or A Very Awkward Potions Class )

I know you guys are used to chapters coming out at about midnight West Coast, USA time, but there's going to be a slight delay this week. Sorry about this! Expect the chapter around noon, West Coast time, three pm East Coast time. Again, sorry, and thanks for reading the fic!

Title: Diagon Burning (15/20)

Author: 1eyedjack

Rating: R

Summary: Ron spends some time with a lichen, Pansy insinuates with the subtlety of a two-by-four, Hermione is awkward, and we see democracy in action.

DISCLAIMER: Not ours. JKR and her publishers own all characters, etc. Canon information brought to you by the Lexicon.

Authors' Notes: alazysod is the best beta ever. Thanks to everyone else who has betaed, including naodrith, Oli and co., and Alissa Raboin, and also to everyone who's caught errors. If you see anything we missed, we'd always appreciate it if you comment and let us know.

( DB 15: The Talented Mr. Malfoy )